I’ve become annoying.
I hear it as it comes out of my mouth – the know-it-all, over sharing, no one cares besides you, verbal diarrhea – but I’m powerless to stop it.
Being the certain breed of
crazy eccentric that I am, I’d like to be as prepared as possible for this whole “give birth and raise a human” thing thats happening in a couple months…so I’ve been doing research. A LOT of research. My nightstand is currently piled high with books on sleep training, breastfeeding, childbirth, and pregnancy – really makes for an easy sleep transition and pleasant dreams, I can assure you.
As a result, I have a lot of random knowledge and methodology rolling around in my brain…and I feel the need to share it. with anyone. who. will. listen. I’m just so fascinated by it all that I seem to forget not everyone else is too. What? You don’t know Ina May Gaskin? Oh let me tell you alllll about her. So sorry, so boring, so not necessary.
The problem is only exacerbated by the fact I have friends who are currently pregnant as well. As we exchange emails, texts, and Facebook messages, I’ve caught myself on more than one occasion rambling on much longer than necessary about cloth diaper detergents and hospital procedures. My logical self is screaming, “shut up. shut up. shut up”, but my pregnant, baby-zilla self says, “Nooooo, this is interesting. They want to read that article you linked to them about the perils of a non-organic crib mattress”.
My hope is that by publicly shaming myself and acknowledging I have a problem (Hi, my name is Marie and I’ve becoming an annoyingly stereotypical, special snowflake pregnant lady), I can curb the behavior so as not to alienate the few friends I have in real life. I certainly don’t want to push my personal beliefs on anyone else – epidural, natural, hugging a tree, chugging champagne the second it’s finished (yes please!) – your birth is your birth so I need to shut the efffff up. Even more so as I move into the dreaded mom circles – those ladies are notoriously vicious and I’d much rather spend my time discussing Teresa Guidice’s fivehead than my future daughter’s sleep cycle.
So dear friends and family, both in real life and interwebz, I’ll shut the heck up now. Unless, of course, you want to discuss The Business of Being Born, in which case I’ve got a few things I found interesting…