I was hoping to do a post today about running while pregnant, but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed life and find myself especially cantankerous.

Whether it’s my Twitter stream, blog roll, Facebook newsfeed…I can’t stand anyone or anything I lay my eyes on today. In a nutshell, the entire world makes me feel like this:

So in an effort not to completely alienate and destroy all those I love (and fiiiiiiiine, even those I don’t), I’m going to crawl back into my hole for the time being.

Say a prayer for my husband.

He’s going to need it.

Now that things are starting to feel more legit, I’m hoping to keep up with more frequent updates on here*

*While we’re on the topic, can I just express how utterly confusing I find the entire counting weeks to be? Bear with me here…I’ve completed 13 weeks of pregnancy, so I’m technically in my 14th week. So would this be my 13 Week update or 14? GAH. Life is hard. On that note: TheBump and What to Expect, if you could get on the same page fruit-wise I’d really appreciate it. I have a desperate need to know whether I classify as a peach or a lemon or just plain crazy. (I’m going with the latter of the three)

Moving on…13 weeks in the can. Let’s review:

How far along? 13w2d

How big is baby? 3 inches give or take

Total weight gain/loss: BAH HA HA.

Workouts for the week: two 3 mile jogs, two dates with the elliptical for 30 minutes

Maternity clothes? Ohhhhh yes.

Sleep: Other than getting up to pee twice a night , intensely vivid dreams, snoring, and back tenderness, I’m sleeping just grrrrrrreat.

Best moment this week: Getting the results of our NT Scan and risk assessment – all good! 1 in 10,000 for Trisonomy 18 and 1 in 1,860 for Downs (For reference, the average odds for a 29 year old woman are 1 in 1,000. Anything under 1 in 200 requires further testing.)

Movement: Definitely not yet.

Food cravings: I can not get enough pineapple. Sean has been relegated as the official fruit chopper in our house and I’m pretty sure he’s ready to unionize and ask for a raise.

Food Aversions: Still not into meat and veggies are a daily struggle, but we’re working on it aren’t we, broccoli?

Gender: We’ll find out in a few weeks, but I have a strong suspicion it’s a boy.

Labor Signs: thankfully no

Pregnancy Symptoms:  The belly is more bump and less bloat this week, which makes it feel real. I’ve still got the first trimester exhaustion kicking around and I could cry at the drop of a hat.

What I miss: WINE.

What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex so we can get started on the nursery

Upcoming appointments/events:  Elective Gender Ultrasound on June 4th, 16 week appointment on June 7th

Milestones: Went to a baby expo and got our first piece of official gear. Guess we’ll bring this kid home from the hospital after all!

Obligatory bump shot: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, so you don’t think I take myself too seriously, here’s my favorite photo of the set. Completely creep-tastic face and pushed-out bloat bump are juuuuuuuuust for you. Enjoy

I know… I know… I’m (fashionably) late to this little party. The Great Gatsby movie has been out in theaters over a week now, which means it’s practically ancient in social media standards. However, after seeing it this weekend, I simply can’t resist sharing my thoughts on it.

I should preface this by saying I love The Great Gatsby. A LOT. So much so that my undergraduate senior project consisted of an intense literary breakdown of the book. Since Jay, that pesky green light and I go way back, I’m probably definitely biased. You can imagine my shock and horror when I read some not-so-”Great” reviews of the movie (see what I did there? I’m so punny). I ignored all the naysayers though and made big plans to see it this past weekend, shilling out a little extra for the 3D version nonetheless. (Because let’s be honest, if you’re going to see Leo looking dapper for 2 hours and 20 minutes, you want that shit in 3D)

My verdict?

I adored it. The movie stuck incredibly close to the book’s original plot, which might be my favorite part about it. Seeing Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan’s relationship play out on the big screen was exactly how I pictured it in my head when I read the book all those times. Gatsby’s still a bumbling, nervous (adorable) mess and Daisy’s certainly the selfish and neurotic version of herself. I kept hoping ole Baz secretly took some creative liberties with the storyline and miraculously kept Jay Gatsby alive, that poor bastard.

Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. (I shouldn’t even consider this a spoiler considering every kid in every high school everywhere must’ve read this book at some point, right? God, I hope so.)

Even if you hated the book the first time you read it, or you’ve heard negative reviews, or you can’t stand Leonardo DiCaprio (pffftttt…not possible), just go see it anyway. I promise it’s worth it. My friend and I kept wishing we could freeze frame the entire thing and stare at the pictures one by one. The costumes and set design were so darn pretty to look at.

The only downfall? The entire movie was practically swimming in Moët champagne, which makes a girl thirsty. Not fair, Leo. You know I can’t have any. Rude.

I have quite a few things to discuss (including my first “bump” photo at the bottom!)

TV this week was off the chain. (Did I really just use that phrase? Oh man I’m a nerd) Seriously though – Nashville anyone? Grey’s? Scandal? Office Finale? So. much. awesomeness.

I’m REALLY tempted to spoil the episodes for people just because I’m so desperate to rehash details with someone, but *sigh* I won’t since I know most of you have social lives and DVR this stuff to watch later. Lame.

I’ll summarize my feelings about each instead:

Nashville: This week’s episode  - Gah!!!! Next week’s preview – full of angry, sad Deacon. Is there anything better than a brooding Deacon? I think not.

Grey’s Anatomy: (I know, I can’t believe I still watch it either) I don’t want to leak any information, but I’ll just say I’m Team Callie. Stupid Arizona.

Scandal: The breakdown of the finale was like this for me:

Oh.

Ohhhhhhh.

Oh no!

Awwwww.

Uh oh.

Ahhhhh, okay.

Cue last 20 seconds: HOLY SHIT.  

Needless to say, I highly recommend you go watch it immediately.

The Office:  I will forever be (not so) secretly in love with Jim Halpert. Don’t tell Sean.

Edited to add: Drop everything you’re doing and go read this BuzzFeed on “59 Reasons We’re Going to Miss ‘The Office’”. I’ll wait here….. 

….did you laugh out loud? I want to print and frame every single one. 

Moving on to real life, have you seen this video from last night’s Tampa Bay Rays game? This will bring a tear to even a non-hormonal pregnant woman’s eye. (Whereas for this hormonal pregnant lady, it not only made me weep openly while watching it but again later when simply telling someone about it.)

Aaaand lastly, speaking of being knocked up, I’m finally starting to look it. Just a little bit. Although it’s mostly ice cream hidden in there since the baby is only like 4 inches long (crazy!), I’m excited. I can’t wait until it’s really large and in charge. I’ll probably regret this when I haven’t seen my ankles in several months and I feel like an overweight elephant charging around town, but I think all first time moms want that belly. Meanwhile, everyone who has been there is shaking their head and laughing right about now.

Sean made a super cute chalkboard sign for us to take weekly shots, but it’s not really necessary yet. We attempted one at 9 weeks, but it looked more like a beer gut than anything else. Hopefully this week we’ll get back on track. In the meantime, you can enjoy my incredibly awkward selfies. I am TERRIBLE at them. What do you do with your arms? Do you smile? Should you look in the mirror or focus on the phone? Can someone photoshop my double chin?

Here we are! 11w0d on the left and 12w2d on the right.

Hi, little bump! Keep on growing, okay? Your mom needs an excuse to go shopping.

How soon is too early for mom guilt?

This kid has barely developed fingernails, and I already feel inadequate as a parent. As Sean and I face the daunting task of figuring out childcare for this wee one, I have been inundated with an unexpected amount of guilt and anxiety over returning to work. In an ideal world, I’d love to forgo the outrageous (and I do mean outrageous) costs and absurd waiting lists (did you know you have to sign up for daycare like the second that test pops positive? Many places already have waits over a year out. Ummmmm…WHUT?!). Unfortunately, I will most likely be returning to work after my (un)paid maternity leave since we kind of like the luxuries in life – you know, things like food and a roof over our head.

We have student loans, a mortgage, and choose to live in an expensive city. This is our reality – one that we happily determined ourselves. So why am I mentally shitting all over it? I blame my blog roll.

None of the “mommy blogs” I read on a daily basis are employed in a typical, 9 to 5 career and instead have the good fortune of being home. Now, let me be clear here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, I’d welcome the opportunity. This isn’t even about them. I’ve simply realized that these types of blogs affect my perception of reality. Continuously reading about life from this vantage point has given me a false sense of what’s “normal” and “good”. You can still be a fantastic parent without taking your kid to Whole Foods for lunch every day, Marie. Your child is not going to end up on America’s Most Wanted because you didn’t make them a gluten-free macaroni necklace and Instagram it.

So I’m making some cuts from my rotation. Parenting seems to be hard enough without letting other people’s ideas of perfection mess with my head. I’m sorry to see them go, but I promise I’ll let them down easily. “It’s not you, it’s me”. Really.

In the meantime, I’m desperately seeking new blogs from working mothers. Any favorites? I haven’t come across very many so far…but then again, if you’re working full-time and juggling a family/exercise/life, you probably don’t have a ton of time for blogging, eh?

EDITED 11:27am: My dear old dad reminded me that sometimes the stay at home parent and working parent is also a kick-ass DAD. Duh. I went into this post a little blinded by my own perspective as the mom/woman and my role – but there’s a whole slew of great dads out there making those organic, grass-fed, locally grown macaroni necklaces. They deserve credit too. Seems both Sean and I have some pretty big shoes to fill

You’d think succinctly wrapping up three months would be easy considering I mostly napped, ate, and whined – not to be confused with my favorite pastime: wined. Sigh, I’ll see you in a few months old friend. Until then….

And yet, I find myself overflowing with completely useless and trivial information I want to share with you. In an effort to curb the crazy, let’s just stick with a by-the-numbers play by play of the past 12 weeks:

13: grilled cheeses consumed during Weeks 4-10. Yeah that’s like two per week. No judging allowed.

15: pregnancy tests I took before I believed this was actually happening. After going through an early loss in January, I developed a pee-stick problem this time around. The first step is admitting it though, right? Three brands and way too many dollars later, I still think seeing that line get darker was worth every penny.

1: number of fetuses currently inhabiting my body. No twins for us (sorry Kristen, you can’t have one as promised).

5: pounds gained so far. Admittedly, you aren’t technically supposed to gain much weight in the first trimester. I’m chalking it up to my ever-expanding ass chest, but secretly I know it’s those darn grilled cheeses (and ice cream…and ramen noodles…and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches…pfffttttt, I’m such a cliche)

3.2: longest mileage I’ve ran since finding out. I didn’t exercise at all Weeks 4-8 from a combination of extreme exhaustion, morning sickness, and irrational fear that exercising would cause something bad to happen. After hearing the heartbeat and speaking with our midwife, I started running again SLOWLY. So so so slowly. Like grandmothers with walkers and crawling toddlers pass me as I’m trudging along. As of right now, I’m working out 4-5/week and doing 2-3 miles on my runs or the elliptical, and I’ve got high hopes to continue as long as my body will let me.

3: pairs of maternity pants I’m already rocking. Hey, this bloat is no joke.

Side note: trying on maternity clothes with the fake bump they give you is not only highly entertaining, but also makes your thighs look deceivingly thinner in comparison. Should I make a hashtag for this? #fauxfluential?

0: irrationally angry meltdowns. Sean is pleased.

7: sobbing so hard I can’t breath moments (mainly due to things like an old episode of Friends or someone’s status on Facebook. Totally normal, right?)

2: times I started laughing so hard that it turned into one of the hysterically sobbing moments mentioned above.

multiple: fake drinks I consumed to throw people off the scent. Apparently I’ve got a reputation as quite the little booze bag to uphold. My favorite trick? Pouring a full beer down the bathroom sink and filling the empty bottle with tap water to drink instead. I’m so very sorry for the deception, friends.

27: more weeks to go until d-day. That seems like for-ev-errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from now. Whoever said patience is a virtue has clearly never met me.

So there you have it: our first trimester in a nutshell. Thrilling, eh?

I have about 3294802384234 other things I’d like to discuss, but I’m still trying to figure out where the line is between sharing and over-sharing.  I’d love to hear your thoughts. What sort of topics are valuable to you? What is completely eye-roll worthy? 

Any time a married, twenty-something woman coos about big news, people assume it’s yet another pregnancy announcement…

…welllllllll this time you’re right!

Sean and I are positively delighted to shout from the rooftops dance around with glee announce Baby Griffin is due November 2013!

Holy moly.

There’s about a million and a half details that I want to share with you. I’ve been bursting at the seams to spill this news since March and it has been slowly killing me. Now, I realize pregnancy blogging is an extremely polarizing topic – people either run screaming for the hills or have a weird fascination with it.   It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and I get that. While I don’t want to intentionally alienate anyone by discussing trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, and future parenting issues, I don’t want to shy away from them either. As we all know, this homegirl’s gotta big mouth and quite a few opinions – it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t spout off every now and then.

So there you have it. Our big announcement. If you stick around, I promise I won’t show you any more pictures of pee sticks. I will share other super important things though…like how many grilled cheeses I’ve managed to eat since getting knocked up.

(I’ll give you a hint: it’s a lot)

 P.S. I realize a majority of you already saw the news on Instagram and Facebook and I just have to say a million THANK YOUs. Sean and I were completely humbled by how much love we received yesterday. I may have shed a big fat hormonal tear or two. You guys are all awesome.